It's Okay
by Dr. Breifs Cat
Summary: G Gundam. Whim of a ficlet here, but it's about Allenby, so it's okay. Beware of falling series spoilers and love triangles.


**It's Okay**

                _You're alive._

_                I could clearly hear someone talking to me, so once I could manage it, I opened my eyes and looked around.  No one else was there; in fact, I was in the cockpit of my Gundam, mobile traced and everything.  None of the screens were on, though.  I started to stand up, but something was wrapped around my wrist and it pulled me down to my backside._

                "Domon?" I called.  "Are you there?"  The last thing I remembered was crying out for him to help me as the Beserker System was activated.  Domon says I fight like I don't have a soul when the System is being used.  I guess that's true...I'm more of an animal then a human when the System is on.  I can't really think; everything's just a jumble of danger and I leap at everything.  Suddenly everything's a threat and the adrenaline rushes in.  And then it's destroy or die.

                At least, that's what it feels like to me.

                "Domon?"  I called again.  I'm not stupid, I know he can't hear me.  If the audio communications array was on, he would have answered the first time.  But somehow saying his name made me feel better.  That thing on my wrist held really tightly.  There was no slack, just a steady tug.  'Domon's gonna save me,' I thought.  'He's gonna come, he's gonna come, he's gonna come.'

                Something touched my ankle.  I screamed and drew my leg back, but this green-ish blue-ish thing sped out from nowhere and latched on to my calf.  

                "Let go!" I shouted at the thing and kicked the air trying to dislodge it, but it held.  At least I could move my leg, my arm wouldn't budge.  My wrist might as well be bonded to the floor of the cockpit.

                It was about then that another one wound around my waist.  

                _They usually don't bother with live ones anymore._

_                That voice again._

                "Who?" I asked.  "For what?"

                _Foot soldiers.  Kill them first, then re-animate them.  Unfortunately, it seems to work rather well. _

_                From the floor, I tried to check the instruments, but I couldn't see anything specific._

                "The communications array is deactivated," I said, squinting.  "Are you in my Gundam?  Get out!"

                _You're not a foot soldier.  I wonder what they want you for..._

_                "Who wants me for what?"  I asked.  I'd been a tool for Neo-Sweden nearly all my life; I didn't want to be a tool for someone else now.  I could do without being one all together, really.  "I'm not gonna let anyone use me!"  That was pretty much a lie, but The Voice doesn't know that, now does he?_

                _Does the name Urube Ishikawa mean anything to you?_

_                "No," I answered.  "That's Japanese, right?  The only Japanese people I know are Domon and Rain.  Oh, and Domon complains about some guy 'Karato' a lot."_

                _You know Domon?!_

_                "Well, duh!"  I huffed.  "You haven't been listening to me very well, have you?"  I would have said more, but the voice cut me off._

                _They want Domon!_

_                "Who?"_

                _Urube!  And Dr. Mikamura._

_                "Well, I know Rain gets all hot and bothered over him...  She's a pretty crappy doctor, by the way.  Domon's told me about a bunch of their fights in other countries and I don't think she's ever actually cured someone of anything."_

                _Not Rain!  Her father!_

_                "Eewwwww...  He does know Domon doesn't swing that way, right?"_

                _They want Domon for the Devil Gundam!  He's the most powerful fighter alive and it would be unstoppable with him as the power source.  _

_                "The Devil Gundam!  Domon told me all about that!  His brother stole it and took it to Earth!  Man, if I ever met that guy, I'd kick his ass.  I think he'd dead, though.  There was a big battle in South America before the finals."  Domon told me a lot more than that, but I was too busy running my mouth to think._

                _He's not dead.  Getting there, though._

_                "How do you know?"  Now that I thought about, this voice kind of reminded me of Schwarz Bruder.  Only, without something blocking his mouth.  "Schwarz?"  I ventured.  It really did sound just like him._

                _Speaking.  And Schwarz is still functioning?  Good, I'd been worried he didn't recover after Guyana._

_                "Hey, if you're not Schwarz, then why'd you say 'Speaking?'"_

                _Because I am Kyoji Kasshu.  And no, I'm not dead.  If I was, the Devil Gundam would have died with me._

_                "How are you..doing this?  Why?  Let me go!  Domon's gonna kill you if you don't let me go right now!"_

                _I'm not doing any of it.  Believe me, if it was my choice, I'd let you go.  I'd let them all go.  _

_                "Domon said--"_

                _Domon was misinformed.  He trusts very easily; that is both a strength and a burden._

_                "How?"_

                _People who trust can count on others.  If you have faith in others, there is nothing you can't do.  People who trust can also be used and betrayed.  Left alone with no one to count on._

_                "I'll never betray Domon," I said.  "I promise."_

                _Is that so?_

_                "Yes!" I cried.  "I love Domon!  And I'll make sure he'll never be alone."_

                _I love Domon, too.  But to keep that promise, you're going to have to get through this._

_                "I will.  I promise that, too."_

                Like the universe was aiding in my vow, the green things let go.  I jumped to my feet.

                "Hah!  I can do this!"  My fingers dashed across the console to open the hatch, but nothing happened.  "Huh?  Why isn't this working?"  I tried again, 'I'm coming, Domon,' I thought.  'I'll see you again soon.'

                "Kyoji?"  I called.  "Why isn't this working?"  No answer.  "Kyoji?"

                Those green things were back, swarming around me.

                _Allenby Biazury, I'm sorry...  I can't stop it..._

_                I couldn't hear him after that...  Hypo Waves drowned him out.  While it's true I lose rational thought in my Beserker rage, snippets of thought still flow through my mind.  I'm still conscious, after all.  _

'Enemy...I'm coming, Domon...Enemy...I love Domon...Enemy...Never be alone...Enemy...I promise'

***********************

                Now, I guess you'd think, when it's all said and done, I'd be sad, right?  I mean the whole Domon and Rain thing.  But somehow, watching them, I wasn't thinking about 'oh, woe is me, I'll never be loved' or 'There goes The One That Got Away.'  

                Nope, I felt really good.  Better than I had in long time, maybe even better than when I first met Domon.  Maybe.

                I kept my promises.  I got through it, but more importantly, I knew Domon would never, ever be alone.

                And I like to think that maybe Kyoji can see that from where ever he is now that he really is dead.  And I like to think that maybe if there is ever another time when I'm alone and scared and just not knowing what's gonna happen to me, that he can still hear me.  

                Because maybe if he can hear me, then he knows that it's okay that he couldn't stop it.  

                It's okay.

**Sore de wa...Gundam Fight!  Ready? Go!**

Disclaimers:  The usual drill.  G Gundam belongs to Sunrise and their friends the Sotsu Agency.

Author Notes:  Little whim, here.  Y'know, 'cause I can.   


End file.
